today, i had finally gotten around to packing my stuff. i mean, i was supposed to be doing that right after o levels ended. but obviously the procranstinator in me kicked in and thus i had to use up an immense amount of my willpower to get going. sigh.
i started on packing all the worksheets and paper kinda stuff. hell irritating. and dusty too. man, imagine the amount of paper wasted on printing worksheets and past year papers. some of which, i must say, were completely left undone. burning them all would've given me a greater sense of satisfaction i guess. but for the sake of mother earth (and possibly tania too), i have thus separated the papers into to 2 piles when i was packing; rough paper pile and recycle paper pile. and for some reason, placing paper on my lap makes me all itchy.
ah well.
i have also made 2 discoveries today. firstly, the greatest paper waster in my family, i believe, is my darling brother. surprising huh. thought it would've been me since i do need lots of paper for doodling and stuff. but at least i usually do that in textbooks and worksheets and rough paper. you know, all the non-important material. but to my utter horror, HE certainly wastes loads more than i do! haha. really, the way he uses paper... it is hence no wonder why he runs of foolscap paper so quickly. and so the second discovery is that, well, he'd probably be tania's nature adversary. but i feel pretty accomplished after accumultating a whole stackful of paper that can be recycled. (tania, you'd be so proud of me)
ahh-ah. gotta pack the books tomorrow. then maybe clear out my study table.. ugh. better now than later i guess. got christmas cards to get too. i saw forever friends christmas cards in a pack! so i'm thinking of getting that.. hahaha. oh yeah gotta search for more christmas scores to play.. wanna get a job too.. and learn how to rollerblade up and down hills..
i'll focus on packing first.
(i'm hooked!)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
promises, promises
no promise, is better than an empty promise.
right? right.
there is a promise i want to make, but i doubt that it would be within my capability to keep it. it's a promise for someone. but it's a promise i made to myself. no one knows of it except me. if i were to let it become an empty promise, i'll be letting myself down. but i do really want to make it.
it's just that it's not gonna be easy to keep it, duh. but i want to try. but if i still can't fulfill what i promised, then what? is that considered an empty promise still? i think so. cos if i really did try, i somehow believe that it would not become an empty promise. that's really trying ain't it? putting in your best effort and all. so i guess my problem lies in the effort part. i am born uh, lazy, i suppose. so why am i bothering to do this? beats me. i just wanna yannow? haha.
but i think it's more because i don't want it to happen. as in, the promise i want to make is to prevent something from ever happening. i really wish it not to happen. but i know i have to DO something in order to prevent it. not just sit there and watch it develop into a uh, something monsterous, i guess. so i guess this means i'm making it?
yessir. i promise.
right? right.
there is a promise i want to make, but i doubt that it would be within my capability to keep it. it's a promise for someone. but it's a promise i made to myself. no one knows of it except me. if i were to let it become an empty promise, i'll be letting myself down. but i do really want to make it.
it's just that it's not gonna be easy to keep it, duh. but i want to try. but if i still can't fulfill what i promised, then what? is that considered an empty promise still? i think so. cos if i really did try, i somehow believe that it would not become an empty promise. that's really trying ain't it? putting in your best effort and all. so i guess my problem lies in the effort part. i am born uh, lazy, i suppose. so why am i bothering to do this? beats me. i just wanna yannow? haha.
but i think it's more because i don't want it to happen. as in, the promise i want to make is to prevent something from ever happening. i really wish it not to happen. but i know i have to DO something in order to prevent it. not just sit there and watch it develop into a uh, something monsterous, i guess. so i guess this means i'm making it?
yessir. i promise.
Friday, November 6, 2009
grrraaAAAGH.
i'm in a dilemma.
and it's not the first of its kind. it's happened before. though not many times i think. to choose, or not to choose.. actually, more like to choose this, that or.. or.. aah whatever. haha, more specifically, caught between friends and family, which should i choose? depends on the circumstances right. but what if the circumstances doesn't really help much either? this is troulesome. i'm a lover of convenience. though laziness oughta be a better and much more apt word.
by the rule of convenience, i would naturally go with family. much less conflict. much less trouble. but rather unfair to my friends. thus i know i shouldn't choose something out of the convenience of it. so, friends it is. but i've been told that i'm being a pushover this way. and it is also unfair to my family. more so to my mother actually. so what next?
why is it that all i ever consider are these two groups of people? why do i not consider myself? hahaha oh man do i sound like such a selfish prick at this point. but really, what do i think? well i'll tell ya what i think! i think that i go by the "first come first serve" policy. and i do find it tiresome and meaningless to rush by compromising just cos i want to have both.
however! this means that i'll choose to forsake my friends. and that would upset them. which is not good. duh. how can i please both parties? actually i can, but where does that leave me? a mite miserable perhaps. for having to be steered in different directions by others. so how can i please us all?
no idea man. i guess that in order to really think for yourself, you'd have to kinda displease someone. that's thinking FOR yourself ain't it? in a way, it's not right to say that this is selfish of me. because it's natural to be like that. to not get uh, trampled on.
sigh. i still am in a dilemma.
and it's not the first of its kind. it's happened before. though not many times i think. to choose, or not to choose.. actually, more like to choose this, that or.. or.. aah whatever. haha, more specifically, caught between friends and family, which should i choose? depends on the circumstances right. but what if the circumstances doesn't really help much either? this is troulesome. i'm a lover of convenience. though laziness oughta be a better and much more apt word.
by the rule of convenience, i would naturally go with family. much less conflict. much less trouble. but rather unfair to my friends. thus i know i shouldn't choose something out of the convenience of it. so, friends it is. but i've been told that i'm being a pushover this way. and it is also unfair to my family. more so to my mother actually. so what next?
why is it that all i ever consider are these two groups of people? why do i not consider myself? hahaha oh man do i sound like such a selfish prick at this point. but really, what do i think? well i'll tell ya what i think! i think that i go by the "first come first serve" policy. and i do find it tiresome and meaningless to rush by compromising just cos i want to have both.
however! this means that i'll choose to forsake my friends. and that would upset them. which is not good. duh. how can i please both parties? actually i can, but where does that leave me? a mite miserable perhaps. for having to be steered in different directions by others. so how can i please us all?
no idea man. i guess that in order to really think for yourself, you'd have to kinda displease someone. that's thinking FOR yourself ain't it? in a way, it's not right to say that this is selfish of me. because it's natural to be like that. to not get uh, trampled on.
sigh. i still am in a dilemma.
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